January 5, 2004 :
It is now 14(?) years since the Swirlies first assaulted, cajoled, amazed, and figgled us with their noisy experimental brand of rockypop. Since that time as many members have passed through the Swirlies revolving door as albums that they've put out. They say genius and madness goes hand in hand but the Shmat would expect nothing less from Damon Tutunjian, one of the founders of the Swirlies, who he pestered with strange, obsessive questions in this month's installment of Shmat's Features. If you want clear cut answers, this interview is not where you should look. However, if ostrich eggs and moomins are your game, then pull up a beanbag with the Shmat while he plays 20 questions with Damon.
- interview by
 Let's start this interview out with a very important question: What kind of shoes do you wear? Answer carefully, now...
Damon: Uh... I have these little slipper things...
Are they the fuzzy kind or the "grandfather's slippers" type? We're going to psychoanalyze you by your shoe choice, you see...
Damon: Like, leather with big stichy shit on the front... I'm vegan, but they were wicked on sale, and payless falls apart... I do what I can, ya know...OK OK THEY JUST LOOKED GOOD AND FOPPY!
What is with all the french voiceovers on the albums, or is that question like asking about the ostriches...?
 Damon: Funny you should ask... Ostrich eggs are shipped all over the world all the time. Some folks ship "hot" eggs which are those that have been incubated 40 days and should hatch upon arrival. Obviously they must be packaged properly and shipped in a timely manner. Prices will vary according to whether or not they are guaranteeing the fertility, they are "fresh" or "hot" or "hatched". Consideration should be made for the fact that some might arrive broken or with cracks and obviously they must be sent overnight express. Being a novice, I would recommend getting eggs that have been laid less than about 7 days and set them immediately upon arrival. I would not accept dirty or stained eggs (having been wet). Ask for eggs that are close to the same size (between 1700-1900 grams are the easiest to hatch). Those too big or too small can have a few problems if you are inexperienced or have a less than wonderful incubator. Hope this helps some - just my opinions. If I can help you further, please let me know.
Have you heard that chicken eggs come in six sizes: jumbo, x-large, large, medium, small, and pewee... but that most markets carry only the top 4 sizes? What do you think of this egg discrimination???
Damon: We aren't taking about eggs here...we are discussing FRENCH!
Fair enough. Ok, let's switch gears... what is the most bizarre music that you listen to currently?
 Damon: It's a little bizarre that I suddenly like Weezer (blue). Finally got Dag Nasty with Shawn Brown off ebay (broke my nose at swiz)... Maybe that's just nostalgia and not weirdness. I have a Chantal Goya fetish. Even the kids' music records, those are pretty weird... Moved on to late 70's/early 80's Francoise Hardy, which is pretty damn tacky stuff... love it. Was obsessed with the theme song from the Moomins cartoon...they are the Moomins, they are the Moomins..it's like, Hawaiian music, for a Finnish book, animated in Japan...farkin shmat! - that's odd. Saw Arcade Fire Play... like watching a band formed by circus people...loved it. Weird. Heard a band called Kill Hanna on the radio and found it really weird that morons are commended for making bad music and shmats berated!
Hey, blue Weezer is classic stuff... Moomins, are those the hippo thingies?
Damon: They are NOT hippos, they are fucking trolls, duh... they are the Moomins, they are the Moomins. I found a leather (there's that material again) Moomin at a flea market in Copenhagen once... it was from like 1950. It was all brown and weird looking and I got too creeped out to pay 5 bux for it... it's probably worth a million zillion dollars.
I'm looking to get you in trouble now... do you share music files over the internet?
Damon: No, I just burn em (I hate mp3s... want the full file). And send out Swirlies burns to anyone who asks.
Do you mind it when fans bootleg your shows, as long as they only trade them?
 Damon: As long as they give me a copy, which they usually say they will and don't,
it's aok with me. Seeing how if they pressed it no one would buy it anyway
and they'd lose more money then me on this silly venture we call Swirlies...
Complete the following sentence: The best thing about waking up is...
Damon: Knowing that I can go back to sleep after I get home from work?
Ah, I see. In that case, have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
Damon: ...or collected dragon magazine, or painted little figures, or obsessively colored in the grooves of a thirty sided die collection, housed in a little homemade pouch, with crayon?
Stop, you're getting me all high now... did your dungeon master let you cheat like ours and ignore "encumbrance" limits... like everyone could carry around a ten foot pole, full plate mail, battle axe, and 65,000 electrum pieces in their backpack?
 Damon: Duh..read: I WAS the dungeon master (control freak) and everyone had magic bags of holding that we would carry insane armies in... it was retarded. Encumbrance was too much of a bitch to think about and these were the old rules not the new. By the way, I spent 9 months playing Baldurs Gate on a network at fat day's house. And we cheated like mad for the record.
What was the first album you ever bought and do you still have it?
Damon: First received, Introducing The Beatles, first bought Men At Work Cargo (right after I was given Gogos' Vacation and J Geils Band for Xmas). They are
mixed in somewhere among the subsequent 6,000 records I purchased.
6000!! Almost every musician I talk to has problems storing their music collection... is your collection all organized or is it scattered all over like ours?
Damon: Moms got it all in her house. I recently carted a shitload off to the dump, it was just too much. My 7 inch collection is insane. I used to go to the dump and take all the records people threw away there... now they just throw away romance novels and baby clothes (the yuppies bought out
Scituate, MA... sniff)
When the Swirlies initially formed, did you find that the Boston scene was in general supportive of indie bands like yours?
Damon: Yeah. Kinda. We used to think not, but looking back, yeah. We definitely didn't fit in, but due to our friendships with Kudgel, Slughog and Madbox, it all worked out. In terms of audience, we sort of made our mark on the DC scene first... as part of the slumberland simple machines crew. Touring with Velocity Girl, The Lilys and Pitchblend. Our other great friends.
 
Simple Machines, that's Jenny Toomey's thing right? Shmat read through her Mechanic's Guide before he started up his label...
Damon: Yeah. We used to sleep at her house all the time... Kristen had the same three thousand pound amp as me (VT-22).
Have you ever had people you don't know stop you on the street around Boston to ask about the Swirlies?
Damon: Once or twice. Nobody really knows what we look like. They could just as
well stop a shmat.
My current favorite Swirlies song is "Pancake" off of Blonder Tongue Audio Baton, it sounds pretty crazy and complicated, but completely "live" at the same time. How many takes does it usually take to do songs like that... is everyone playing at the same time on that or do you do many overdubs?
 Damon: Pancake is the SIMPLEST swirlies song ever... it's like three chords over a different set of three chords to make it a little off sounding. I actually used to sing it live, but it sounded real funny. Then me and seana sang it together then when we recorded it, I let seana do it (thank god). That song took a long time to record, cause we kicked our drummmer out during its tracking and had to start over with new basics... They had all these mellotrons and chamberlains and moogs sitting around, so we kinda just plugged it all in and made up some on the fly parts... went surprisingly quick. Normally we spend FOREVER on each track. The hardest part was pitchshifting seana's off key vocals in real time with the harmonizer (she
had a real bad cold on all the vocal tracks on blonder... funny, listen to Vigilant Always... she's all nasally). Heh heh.
On the fly recording... Shmat's totally down with that. How much of the recording is done in studios and how much at someone's house, for both the earlier albums as well as later stuff?
Damon: What To Do was done all at home, except Upstairs and Tall Ships. Blonder
was all studio except the two obvious tracks. Salons is just
ridiculous... it was done in about five million zillion places, and it's a
surprise I didn't kill myself trying to finish that motherfucking
shmattizzle. Strictly was all done at home... and some at other peoples
homes. The Yes Girls and Cats were all done at home.
Your new album is Cats Of The Wild : Volume Two. For all those looking for the first volume, can you explain where to get it and what "Fat Day" is?
Damon: Fat day is a band. Cats of the Wild is one of their records. It's not as
good as Fat Day IV... brilliant.
What happened to tracks 8,9,10 on the Cats album?
Damon: They are there!
How does it work when the band is trying out new stuff... does someone bring completed songs to practice or do you just work it all out there?
 Damon: I write the song, record it... then we build the rest off of my basics... then
I go back and change my basics to something else. Sometimes we have it all
worked out before hand (not).
You probably get this question too much... what do you think about Kevin Shields?
Damon: Seems very intelligent and soft spoken... and a bit rotund. I bet he's wicked
nice. Kevin Shields should just join a hardcore band and do something different.
The Swirlies seem to be pretty adept at incorporating a rotating cast of other people temporarliy into the band lineup... can anyone make a bid to become a member of the Swirlies, or is there a waiting list?
Damon: Pretty much, if you are around, and can deal with me bossing the fuck out of
you, you can come play... I warn you, it carries a curse..the swirlies
curse.
Uh, you must elaborate on the "Swirlies" curse, so we'll all know in case we need to join the band...
Damon: Easier still... Stick your head in a toilet and flush. It will be less
painful than hearing me gripe about "the curse". Be thankful we aren't friends...
What's up next for the Sneaky Flute Empire?
Damon: SVAMPEN!
Any shmats, er, cats living at your place?
Damon: Pinga and Pingu... emeritus.
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