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Shmat's Reviews
For more reviews, please visit Palebear which is where all future Shmat reviews will appear (as of March 2006).

Steve Seymor
Gypsy (CD)

I don't ask for much. Just some interesting music once in awhile. So anyhow, I put in this disc Gypsy by Steve Seymor and I had to take it out nearly right away. It was 3 more days before I even tentatively tried again. Same reaction. My God, this brand of blues was pretty awful even before the first "Ooh-yeah" on the disc. The strikes against it ran thusly for me. Number one... it's really bad white bread blues! And I mean bad, not bad-ass. Number two... and I quote from the first thing you see on his website: "The Lord has called me into being as an ARTIST!" Shoot me. Now. We need more of those like I need to kick farking Creed's ass. Number three... too many farking guitar solos. Give me that barf bag.

Since I pretty much hated everything about this, let's just talk technique. Fine, take a deep breath then. Drums... standard session stuff. Guitar... ok when it's not trying to wail on my head in a wannabe Hendrix method. Singing... gritty/raspy like Van Morrison or any number of people you hear toiling in coffee houses, once again it's halfway decent when he's not trying to preach my farking head off. Production... good, but very standard. But why not try karaoke? It's cheaper, for fark's sake!

The first song sounds like a bad Led Zeppelin/Eric Clapton cover song. The second song is more of the same. I'm not going to write any of these titles down, horrible. The third song reminds me of a Van Halen song... what was it "Hot for Teacher"? Or maybe ZZTop. Ah, I can't tell any more... the walls are closing in. Rant, rant, rant. OK, I'm out. Steve, man... I hate to come down hard on you because you are probably such a nice guy. My advice, read the damn FAQ that zine sites post, it's there for a reason. Look at the type of reviews that the site posts. Do you know any of the bands? Don't just send it to every person on a "list" that farking IndieBible sells. Send it to the ones that review blues. Godamn... don't mind me. I'm just in a bad farking mood.

- review by SHORTY (3.28.04)        

Steve Seymor

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