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Shmat's Reviews
For more reviews, please visit Palebear which is where all future Shmat reviews will appear (as of March 2006).

On Golden Blonde
Thar She Blows! (CD)

I should preface this review by stating that Thar She Blows makes me wonder if a predilection for adult film title puns is a requisite for producing an album nowadays. And how, pray tell, do I know that On Golden Blonde (nee "On Golden Pond") is the title of a porn flick? Call it a lucky guess, courtesy of Googling for information with the safety off...

You know those golden oldies stories about 70s scenesters proclaiming to the world that there is nothing better than putting on Led Zeppelin IV while doing the two backed beast out at Makeout Point? Well, you may not want to substitute On Golden Blonde for Zoso's classic just yet. Trust me, it will probably get you in a lot of hot water and I don't mean a nice relaxing dip in the tub. Songs like "La Push" and "Kitchen & Movies" try to be the indierock equivalent of Barry White whispering in your ear. This is Smarmyvision times 10. Other songs like "An Evening With Ed Havarti" and "Polyester Wren" do indeed sound like the soundtrack to bad adult movies at times. Ew... I kinda felt like I needed to wash my hands.

But if you subtract those type of songs though then you actually have quite a few pretty nice sounding tunes drawing mostly from the standard pillars of rock and country, though there are a few R&B tunes as well as some folkier ones. Some better songs include "Pineapple Rings", "Wonton", and "Laurence". One of the singers is often pretty nasally and at times sounds like J Mascis. "Cleopatra's Bones" is actually a very nice, softer ditty with Red House Painters - like jangling acoustic guitars along with a mandolin and piano in the background.

There are 19 tracks on this album and that's about 10 too many for me at the moment. While variety is the spice of life, there are just too many different styles at times, and I especially felt like a separation of the sex-you-up material and the more serious songs at least into different albums would do the band some good. For instance, there could be a concept EP with all the titles being sexual innuendoes... you know, like "Autoeroticasphyxiation" and "The Ass End Of An Ass End". Well unfortunately, those particular gems have actually already been used on this album...

- review by BY (11.4.03)        

On Golden Blonde
PO Box 95264
Seattle, WA 98145

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